Recovering from drug and alcohol addiction is a long road that’s different for everyone. But to be successful in it, there are some key elements of the recovery process that should be present. Surrender is one of those things. Surrendering to it allows you to move forward in growth and health.
Surrender is a key element in one of the steps in the 12-Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Step 3 points out the importance of “making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.”
Whether you’re religious or not, surrender is an important part of the recovery process.
What is Surrender?
As mentioned, surrendering to a higher power is the third step of the 12-step process. But what exactly is surrender? This article by Addiction Center.com defines surrender as allowing what is real to be real. It’s accepting the reality of what is.
Instead of wishing things to be different, mourning or romanticizing the past or the future, or refusing to acknowledge real issues and challenges, surrender is accepting where you are now.
Another element of surrender is being okay with not knowing and having all the answers. There is a lot in our lives that is out of control, so surrendering to that is, again, accepting what is.
Why is Surrender Important for Recovery?
Surrender is important for recovery because it grounds you in the “here and now.” This allows people recovering from addiction in a 12-step recovery program to address the real, present issues and challenges. It lets you take things one day at a time rather than trying to mastermind and control everything—because you can’t.
Some other reasons surrender is important in recovery include:
- It forces you to have radical honesty
- It provides space for self-reflection
- It’s humbling
- It draws you closer to a higher power and forces you outside yourself
Surrender is opposite to cultural messages that say you just need the willpower to overcome your problems. An article By James Avery Recovery on surrender in addiction recovery talks about the “toxicity of willpower”—it just doesn’t work for recovery because our brains aren’t wired that way.