Beachcomber Drug and Alcohol Rehab in South Florida understands that when one member of the family struggles with addiction, the whole household is affected. Your way of life is heavily influenced by coping mechanisms to help you get through the day.
Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, an expert in addiction, identified the different roles family members take on when living with someone who struggles with addiction. These roles show how each member of the family copes and also show the negative effect of addiction on each family member.
- The Addicted: The role of the Addicted is taken by the user. Whether it be alcohol, prescription, or street drugs, the Addicted’s life is infused with chaos. When using, the life is a cycle of using, coming down, and then experiencing a rush of emotions and physical yearning that ultimately lead to using again to get rid of them. These physical feelings are normally called withdrawals. However, the emotional feelings are just as strong in influencing them to use again.
- The Enabler: The Enabler tries to be the glue that holds the family together. The enabler constantly denies reality in order to “save” the family from the truth of the situation. They convince themselves that there isn’t a problem in order to make excuses for the addicted’s behavior.
- The Hero: The Hero constantly tries to bring the family together and create normalcy. They typically do so by overachieving to bring hope to the family. The Hero will go above and beyond to excel in everything they do to make the family feel “normal” again. However, the Hero’s need to be perfect will put intense pressure on them and in turn create an anxious person prone to stress-related illness.
- The Scapegoat: The Scapegoat carries the weight of the blame from the family. This role essentially gets blamed for the entire family’s troubles. This makes them feel purpose by shielding the addict from the collective anger and frustration of the family. The scapegoat normally ends up leaving the family as soon as possible, this role is normally taken by a child or sibling and they will leave at 18 or whenever they see an opportunity.
- The Mascot: The Mascot is constantly using humor to defuse the situation. This person is normally insecure within their family and will do anything for approval. This humor is their defense against feeling pain and fear. The Mascot typically grows up to be a user as well, continuing the cycle of addiction.
- The Lost Child: The Lost Child is normally seen as shy or quiet, they typically view themselves as unimportant or invisible to their family. They don’t get much attention and this is reflected in their behavior. The Lost Child struggles to make decisions, form intimate relationships, and typically enjoys spending time alone.
While these are the most common roles in a family with addiction, it’s rare for someone to only fall into one category. Every person is different therefore every symptom of being from a family of addiction looks different within them.
If you see yourself within this list, there are resources to help you overcome these negative characteristics. You are more than your role. This list is helpful to show your starting point, now that you see it clearly, you can only go up from here.
If you are the Addicted there is hope for you as well. Most people struggle to get clean on their own. Beachcomber is the #1 Drug and Alcohol Rehab in South Florida. We would love to speak to you about your options to get better.